Guys, no doubt you feel trapped and insecure. Your financial situation makes you feel stuck and you’re willing to try anything to pull yourself out. I’ve been there, but sometimes you’ve got to tell yourself, “dude, it’s a scam.”
Last night I was cooking dinner. It’s been getting colder and we’re expecting what seems might be the snowstorm of the decade. Seriously, grocery stores are dwindling down to nothing more than a couple of canned ravioli and a pack of diapers.
I was chopping up some fresh jalapeno while the chicken chili was simmering in the crockpot when suddenly my doorbell rang.
I wasn’t expecting anyone, so it actually startled me at first.
After reaching the front door, I flipped on the porch light and turned the knob.
It was my neighbor.
I’m never excited to see my neighbor and I’m sure my body language spoke volumes about my disappointment.
He’s a 57 year old man who lives with a woman that he’s clearly in love with but with whom has no shot. His primary hobby includes drinking cheap beer and smoking on the front porch.
I pushed open the glass door and the stench of musky, old dive bar wafted into my place.
“You got some time, Josh?” He asked.
“I’m actually in the middle of something right now, what’s up?” I responded.
Then he started telling me a story that he’s asked me about on several occasions.
He started talking to a beautiful woman on Facebook who seemingly expressed interest in him. Before long she started asking him if he knew anything about crypto currency and moving him towards investing in some obscure bank-backed trading platform.
And all she needed was his banking information.
Now, fortunately for him, he told her that he wasn’t going to give her any banking information but he did offer to get a prepaid debit card that he would use to fund the account, which means that he is willing to distribute funds to someone he has never met.
As he droned on with the details of his conversation with this mystery woman, I couldn’t help but stare as if to say, “dude, it’s a scam.”
After several minutes of this, he asked me what I thought. I really wanted to crucify him and berate him for being so stupid as to even carry on conversation with a woman who wants to steal his money and more than likely doesn’t live in the country.
All I wanted to say was, “Dude, it’s a scam! Quit being a fucking moron.”
But I refrained.
I simply took a deep breath and asked him what his gut was telling him.
That stopped him in his tracks. He froze. No more word vomit about some magical, get-rich quick scam that fell from the Facebook heavens.
He took a moment to think, smiled and said thank you.
Finally, I was able to get back to my chicken chili.
For about an hour afterwards, I replayed the conversation in my head. I could have been aggravated that once again he had wasted my time with his drunken ramblings.
Dude, It’s a Scam!
But then I got to thinking about it. And I realized he has a the same mentality as many guys in the country.
The mentality of “I’m sick and tired of being where I’m at and I’m willing to do whatever I need to climb out of it.” Unfortunately, that includes pursuing get rich quick schemes.
I’ve been there.
Growing up, we didn’t have much. We didn’t go hungry or anything like that but there were many times where we would have meals that were cheap and would go a long way, like spaghetti.
And vacations were not a thing.
That wasn’t the case for others in my class. I’d hear stories of family vacations and would go to their nicer homes with pools. I wanted that life. Didn’t want to feel stuck. Wanted to be better. And I would have done nearly anything to get there. There was a time where I would have had to tell myself, “Dude, it’s a scam!”
Fortunately, I finally learned there is no quick and easy way to pull yourself out of the trap you were brought up in.
It took years of reprogramming and changing money habits that had been ingrained in me since birth.
Here’s what I did…
I got to the root of why I thought the way I did about money and continued to do the habits that kept me feeling financially stuck and trapped.
All my life I was taught that having money was in some way wrong, that people who had money and made a decent living had to do malicious acts in order to get there.
Then whenever I would actually score some extra cash it would be gone before it cleared the bank.
But it was deeper than that. I knew I wanted to earn a better living and make a better life for myself, but in my head if I created a better life than myself, I’d be a bad person.
But it was even deeper than that. I felt I was unworthy of building a better life for myself. Years of being told that I just wasn’t lucky and being made to feel that I wasn’t good enough to have a better life lead me to believe it.
Once I was able to get to the root of where this money mindset and financial habits came from, I was able to get to work on changing those debilitating factors.
It soon came to my attention that these thought and habitual patterns were not limited to my own experience, but generational.
As I grew, I learned more about how my parents grew up and got a peek into their parents.
My grandparents were products of The Great Depression, where resources were scarce and being frugal, if not cheap, was a way of life. The mentality of scarcity was passed on to my parents and then to my generation.
Once I was able to reframe and come to the understanding that my financial education was flawed and that generational beliefs were not my fault, I was able to get to work in changing my money destiny.
I began surrounding myself with those who I admired and wanted to be more like. I asked questions and listened to their responses then followed their advice.
In addition, I took a deep dive into the various ways that money could work in my favor as well as began common misunderstandings that kept me feeling stuck. Things like I should stash 10% of my money into a savings account.
But most importantly, I had to do other things to change that feeling and belief of unworthiness. Things like going to the gym and eating healthier to build up my physical and mental state. I started searching inside for some sense of spirituality and I allowed myself to tear down a few walls, becoming slightly more vulnerable.
It quickly became evident that changing my financial destiny wasn’t just about where I put my money. It took an entire internal revolution!
Never again having to tell myself Dude, it’s a scam.
It’s time to create a Financial Revolution in your life, watch this FREE WEBINAR to discover the formula I used to turn my situation around.
Joshua D. Abel
Men’s Empowerment Network